Monday, August 15, 2011

Good morning lovely girl!
Today let’s take a bite out of the tiniest little word that has the potential to do the most damage; EGO! Oh if I had a nickel for every time I let the voice of my ego drown out what my heart was telling me I can promise you that would have a closet full of Manolo Blahniks as far as the eye can see. It is astonishing to me that a mere three letter word packs the power of an emotional tsunami wreaking havoc each time it rears it’s nasty face. Every time we allow our egos to get in the way of something we are passionate about, something we are excited about or proud of, we are essentially sabotaging any chance we have for unconditional happiness.
Allow me to provide you with a few examples…

Inspiration Pie is something I have been carrying around with me for years….and years….and years. It is something I am incredibly passionate about, something that I knew I had to do and yet, I was constantly SO worried about what my friends, family and total strangers would think, that I never allowed myself to actually do anything with it. I was so unhappy and angry with myself each time I read about somebody who was off living their dream while I was allowing my own ego to keep me in a prison I had basically chosen to live in. All this time, all I ever wanted to do was inspire people to feel better about themselves and I didn’t have the confidence it took to follow my own advice; even today as I have commit to finishing this project I started so long ago, I can hear that nasty little ego of mine telling me that it is a waste of time, that nobody cares what I think . The difference is that now I can recognize the warning signs when ego is beginning to creep up on me and I imagine myself wearing shiny black combat boots and stepping on him. So, maybe nobody will listen to a word I have to say, but in what matters now is that I have given myself the freedom to say it anyway.

Here is another fabulous example for you….
Back when my day was consumed with developing my line of mineral makeup, I thought I had come up with a brilliant idea. It was called Hope Quest cosmetics and it was to be a division of my company that included my usual range of mineral eye colors but instead of leaving it at that, each color would come with a little postcard that included an inspirational little message I had written (sort of like if a Hallmark card came with makeup). It took me months and months of talking myself into finally take the plunge and launching the new division. I finally pulled the whole thing together, sent an email out to over 3800 clients in order to let them know that I had this fabulous new idea to share with them and then the very worst thing happened; nothing. The orders never came flooding in like they usually did when I launched a new collection, nobody was posting on my message board about how much they loved my new idea, there was only the sound of crickets and to say that I was devastated would be a mild understatement. For months after that I was just miserable. I felt so stupid for thinking that I had such a good idea when my clients clearly did not agree. Instead of focusing on the fact that my customers were not really coming to me for greeting cards, I could only see failure. Never mind that I should have just been proud of myself for going forward with this idea of mine…nope, instead I put all of my energy into what I thought was a failure on my end. The few orders that did come, and the wonderful notes that I got from people who had received the cards and shared them was immediately wiped out by the bigger picture….in my mind I had failed.

These are just two of a laundry list of examples I could give you of what happens when your ego takes over. Instead of being proud of our smallest accomplishments, we choose to highlight our perceived short-comings. Rather than celebrating our own individuality, we focus on the skinnier, taller, curvier, prettier, younger girl sitting across the room and eventually convince ourselves that we simply do not stack up. (take from my four foot eleven self, I know of what I speak)
Ego is the voice that tells you that you are not capable of living your dreams. It is the devil on your shoulder convincing you that you might as well settle for the less than fabulous mate because you will never be pretty enough or good enough for Mr. Perfect. It is the whisper in the back of your mind that tells you not to even bother going after the promotion you know you deserve, or launch the new company you have been developing in your head, because you are not smart enough, you are not clever enough…you are simply not enough.
If you think of every time you wanted something better for yourself and stopped just short of achieving it, I can promise you that EGO was lurking in the shadows. The good news is that the minute you decide to work your butt off to silence your ego, great things begin to happen! As soon as you imagine yourself slapping a big piece of masking tape over the mouth of your ego, you suddenly begin to see yourself for the miracle that you are….and you my dear, are a true miracle.

Your life can and will be as big and as fabulous as you can possibly dream for yourself….but not until you learn to let your heart speak louder than your ego….not until you decide that you are worth all the good things that have been lurking right outside your front door! You have so many amazing gifts to offer, and yet, somebody in your life might have made you feel less than fabulous, and so instead of remembering the good things, you chose to hang on to the junk. People will go to great lengths in order for you to believe the lies they will tell you about yourself, but you need to know and believe that they do not do so with malice, they do not do it to intentionally hurt you, I promise you they don’t. Sadly, I believe that people say and do bad things to one another because their own egos are bruised and rather than trying to see their own relevance, they find it easier to try and diminish yours.
Entire books have been written about learning to silence our egos, and yet, how many of us have read them, (myself included) and still wish we were somebody other than who we are. Until we unconditionally believe that we are perfect just as we are, our own happiness will always be just outside of our reach. Each and every morning when you wake up there is a choice to be made; will you choose to celebrate yourself regardless of how big your bank account or house is, OR will you search for all of the things you need to fix about yourself? The choice is yours. Be grateful for who you are or wallow in what you think might be wrong. I would venture to say that a life lived from a place of lack is a life quickly slipping through your fingers.
There are so many things you want to do with your life, so many opportunities that if taken, could truly make you happy…but the choice is yours. Stay on the path you are on and let EGO control the show, or make a conscious and constant effort to embrace the good and beautiful things about yourself then watch the whole world stop to smile at you.

You are a rare and wonderful gift. You are unique, and colorful, warm and beautiful and oh so fabulous. You are more than enough exactly the way you are right this moment.
Today would be such a perfect day to allow yourself to believe all the good things you have ever heard about yourself. It is the perfect opportunity to KNOW that you are entitled to all the good things that your imagination can dream up for you! It is time to tell that ego of yours to go and take a hike! Kick its butt to the curb and never look back! You deserve it…yes my beautiful friend, you!

Now, before you have a chance to start talking yourself out of all those good things you want for yourself, take a few moments to start an endless list of things that you are proud of, things that you love about yourself and things you could celebrate about who you are right in this moment! Leave no room for the negative, pay no attention when ego tries to talk you out of something (that was its job, so tell it its FIRED), just keep writing….allow yourself to own all the good things you have kept silent for so long! Write until you can’t feel fingers anymore and then give yourself a pat on the back for giving yourself the gift of such a remarkable list!

There is a big wide world waiting to celebrate who you are right along with you....but you have to give it a chance, you have to let yourself enjoy it!
Today I wish you the ability and WISDOM to recognize just how amazing you really are! I wish you the strength to silence that ego of yours and replace all that nasty junk with the very best and most beautiful beliefs about yourself! I wish you the courage to stick that ego of yours in a soundproof box and throw away the key!
Sending buckets of bliss your way!


  1. Ouch! You stepped on my toes there sister. :-)

    I never realised that a lot of my negative self-talk sprung from ego.

  2. Weird to hear isn't it? But at least now that you know where it's coming from you can tell it to be quiet! SO thrilled to see you!